My name is Hugh Mackay and I am originally from The Highlands of Scotland.
I am 29 (30 on the 31st March 2021) and I have been in the British army for over 13 years.
As far as my story goes my mental health problems started a couple of years ago when I was greeted by some quite horrific news from my past.
A day or two later I tried to take my own life, this was around Christmas time while under the influence of alcohol. Now we all like a drink and being a keen bagpiper it also comes with the territory.
So from there I started to deteriorate and spiral downwards also losing my driving licence for drink driving.
At court I was banned for year fined, demoted in rank by the army and removed from the senior course I was on and on the day of my court appearance my at the time girlfriend broke up with me.
I was seen by a colleague and senior ranking officer to have undergone a major change in how I was as a person and they recommended that I go and speak to a doctor.
At this point I broke down In front of the of them and let everything out.
It was unbelievably hard to repeat myself to the different chain of command and then the doctors. Eventually I was referred to the DCMH and prescribed medication.
From there I spent about a year with the DCMH to the point I honestly felt they were not doing what was said on the tin.
After speaking to a family member I started to do a social media blog.
As I am not the most literate person, blogging seemed the easiest way to get my thoughts and emotions on to paper (so to speak)
After a week or two of starting my blog it then spiraled in to me doing live videos with guests that wanted to come on and tell their story.
These guest have all volunteered and is them sharing their story.
Live blogging has grown and so many people have come forward to contribute their story and pass on messages of thanks and support for the indirect work I am doing for them even if it is in the background.
I will continue with my blog, however I have no interest in becoming a social media celeb, I do what I do and that is just fine.
Blogging has helped me be more confident in being who I want to be and not who others want me to be. In the past I think I have been shaped to portray a fake me.
From 1st April 2021 I I will run 5 Kilometres for 5 Days a week (Mon-Fri) on top of any other PT that I am doing.
I will also with permission and support from my battalion will be taking part in a few Rock 2 Recovery events and all of this I want to be raising money for Rock 2 Recovery.
I am going to go teetotal for 1 year starting also on the 1st of April 2021.